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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Urban words 31

Bus: 1/ The worst way of getting a murdered corpse to its dump site.

2/ a long car
Example* "dude lets not take the bus this corspe aint getting any fresher"

Okay, so Top 10 Reasons Why Taking the Bus Rocks:

Firstly, you don't have to wear a seatbelt. Anyone who says they like wearing seatbelts is gay. And a liar.

Secondly, the people are really weird. Like ther's one guy I used to see EVERYWHERE who's all normal and shit, except that he wears skirts. Not kilts. Skirts. What this means is that you can be as strange and obnoxious as possible and no will say anything. In fact, they will do their best to ignore you.

Thirdly, if you wear sunglasses and look around and write things down, people look at you funny or hid their face and give you more to write about.

Fourthly, you can be as high or as drunk as you want and still get to where you want to go with the added bonus of not having to give a stilted-English speaking cabi directions while slurring.

Fifthly, it's cheap, and you don't have to pay for gas or insurance or maintenance of any kind.

Sixthly, if bus drivers are friendly they make your day and if they're jerkfaces they give you a good story to tell.

Seventhly, you get to listen to other people's conversations and know about intimate things in their lives, like how their job sucks (which, by the way, is pretty obvious if they're riding a bus).

Eightly, if you're young, you get motivated to succeed so you don't get stuck riding the bus forever. And if you're old, you get to look at other people who failed and feel better about yourself.

Ninthly, there's fun graffitti around to entertain you.

And tenthly, there are always hilarious fashion blunders on fake blonde twelve year olds with blue eyeliner from Orleans who think they're hot shit, like wearing Stitches sky-blue half-bleached jeans with a pink belly shirt.

So ya, s'il vous plais ne plaindre pas.
"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?"
But answer came there none -
And this was scarcely odd, because
They'd eaten every one.

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