Heartache

Now I am not big on talking about my feelings or anything like that because frankly I think sharing my feelings will get my judged by a person who doesn't understand.  Now I'm in a bit of a pickle because I feel heartbroken one of my friends died, my girlfriend broke up with me (Played the your to good for me card -_-) and I feel as though my family doesn't care about me (to big of an issue to get into and I'm kinda scared tbh) the main thing keeping me stable are my friends they don't know all the stuff going on in my life (because I don't like talking about my feelings remember) its just a problem I've had with sharing my personal thoughts since I was a toddler (kinda ironic that I have a blog). I don't talk enough about stuff that bothers me I was dumped for that once 1st time I ever cried for a girl to, it was a hard night. I never said anything about it before now thought just never saw the need to I find people who say their in pain (by putting up a status or calling you crying then hang up and say their not in the mood to talk just to name a few) but don't want help annoying (because to me its like your making a cry for help but don't want any help) so if I know I'm in pain I won't say anything I just act like nothing is wrong and put up a few funny statuses to make sure nobody suspects anything I think the status will be a bit of dark comedy.  I don't like to feel weak and life has its way of making people feel weak and helpless.  I won't lie a couple people in my life have caught me off guard and made me spill my heart out on a canvas it helped a lot and I try to say whats wrong but I feel like I'm being a bother by talking about such a mood killer (I guess today you caught me venting) so I will keep my way of dealing with heartbreak in all its forms may it be loss of love, friends, security or health and now I'm going to tell you how I deal with heartbreak I don't cry, I don't listen to slow music in my room, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't cut myself and I sure as fuck don't make a scene just to get attention.  I do the only thing thats safe ........................  I lock everything inside.