The square root of 69 is 8.30662386. A lot of people know me but few know that I'm suicidal and I'm an atheist. The thing is I think about dying almost everyday, I just don't have the balls to do it. Not because I don't have my step dad's gun or a nice high place to jump off of, the reason is because me killing myself is a selfish act thats just not rational, I rather just stay with my life my friends and my dysfunctional family then end it just to do nothing because I don't believe in god and the only reason I have to believe in him is that it would be easy but its not like I hide my beliefs I just don't go around shouting "I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD!!!!!" if my friends ask I just tell them the truth its not hard to tell the truth and to tell you the truth I'm not the type of guy to see a problem and ask for help (sigh its one of the problems most people have with me) I rather smile to hide the frown or work out whats wrong on my own time. Right now I'm not even asking for help I'm just venting on my blog because I don't want to come here and be judged for being too happy or for my beliefs or because I feel like dying most days. I wish to stay anonymous but thats impossible in this day tech is just to advanced lol. I'm sorry I was rambling on you see my problem is that I don't know what my problem is I am having a rush of emotions right now and I can't leave my desk in work so I guess thats why I'm putting this out here on the place that once you put something on it never truly comes off onto; The Magnificent Internet where I spend most of my days and after I leave here I go off to laugh with my friends where I spend most of my nights maybe I wanna die because I'm to happy because my life isn't horrible I have a place to sleep, I have a family, I have friends, I have a job and I had the Lord I just realized that wasn't for me. So why do i feel like I'm missing something?
oh and if your wondering why I put the square root of 69 I really have no reason I just didn't know how to start this up and on my playlist that song with drake and some whore came on lol (in that song drake's verse was the only thing that mattered) so I worked out the square root and put it to open this shindig.
A lot people are just going lay out all their problems and say, I wanna die. However, you've established that you know its selfish and irrational, which I commend ^^
ReplyDeleteI think what you're going through is probably boredom. I AM SO SERIOUS. This happens to me, and probably half of the other bloggers here, it's just a suggestion, you know.
But I think you have to do some self exploration and see what new things your mind and self want to do, you know? It's a journey out of a hole. And boy, are the sides slippery. -_-
You're missing something, you mention it there. What could it be? Re evaluation of yourself will help. And also, venting and writing HELPS a lot, so keep on with the awesome blog ^^
wow dead eyes your words hit home and your right it probably is just boredom thanks a lot for saying all this, I never thought when I put this up anyone would even read it let alone put in some awesome inspirational words of guidance. ^_^ thanks one more time i really mean it you've helped me out here i thought i was like the only one feeling this way
ReplyDelete